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LADIES
PHILOPTOCHOS Will hold their January Board meeting on Wednesday,
January 6th at 12 Noon, at the fellowship hall coffee room, followed by
the General Meeting at 1PM.
 The DAUGHTERS OF PENELOPE will hold their first meeting of the
New Year on Wednesday, January 13th at 1PM in the Fellowship Hall coffee
room. All members are asked to please attend.
 AHEPA will hold their monthly meeting on Wednesday, January 13th
at 7PM in the Fellowship Hall library.
 CONGRATULATIONS!!!! To Peter and Joanna Sourlis, who welcomed a
son, Athan Peter Sourlis, on December 9th. Athan weighed in at 7lbs 2oz
and was 20 inches long!
HOSPITAL VISITS If someone from your family is sick or in the
hospital and would like a visitation, please notify Fr. Konstantine at
843-685-6871.
 HOSPITAL VISITS
If someone from your family is sick or in the hospital
and desires a visitation, please notify Fr. Konstantine at 843-448-3773.
HOSPITALIZED
• YANO POURNARAS, son of Billy and Rene Pournaras, has been
diagnosed with Stage IV Neuroblastoma, a form of childhood
cancer, and is currently undergoing treatment in Chicago, IL.
The family appreciates your support and prayers during this
difficult time.
To follow updates on Yano, please visit
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=92990071642
• JOANN BERKEY continues to recuperate at her daughter’s
in Connecticut. Anyone who would like to send her a card may do
so to: Joann Berkey, c/o 70 Robin Road, West Hartford, CT 06119.
BAPTISMS
+ Nov. 7th
~ Evagelia Stathos, daughter of George & Janetta Stathos
+ Dec. 16th
~ Brady Nicholas and Andrew Jonathan Karos, sons of Stephen and
Nicole Karos
FUNERALS
+ Nov. 5th
~ Marie Bilyk, mother of Katherine Karback
+ Nov. 12th
~ Peter Lecouras, husband of Linda Hollandsworth
CASA: CITIZENS AGAINST SPOUSE ABUSE
 Violence Breaks Up Families... and Ruins Lives
Due the economy, CASA funding has been cut. The safe houses are in need
of groceries-- especially food cards from any grocery store, in any
amount, will be greatly appreciated.
Since June, our church has donated 31 bags/boxes to CASA, which included
clothing, household items, books, and non-perishable food. A big "thank
you" to everyone who has contributed.
During this flu season they especially need hand sanitizers for the safe
houses, as well as paper products such as toilet paper and paper towels.
They also need laundry detergent. Please bring all your donations to
church marked CASA. Thank you for your generosity.
WANTED -
Your photos
We would like your pictures from our upcoming Greek Festival and other
church events to be included in our monthly newsletter and on our parish
website.
If you have digital photos you would like to share, please e-mail them
to Donna Tripp at office@stjohn-mb.org
One of this year's raffle prizes was a signed
and
numbered print (No. 001) of our church. A
total of 200 prints have been made and
signed as a fundraiser for our church.
The signed, unframed prints are $20 each,
and would make a great gift for someone who
has a wedding or a baptism, etc. in our
church. The prints could be matted with the
date of the event to commemorate a special
occasion.
These prints are available in the church
office, and proceeds will benefit our parish. |
Marriage: The Great Sacrament (Part 2 of 2)
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By
Archimandrite Aimilianos of Simonopetra
"Are you free from a
wife?"which means, are you unmarried?asks the Apostle Paul. "Then do not
seek a wife. But if you do marry, you are not doing anything wrong, it
is no sin. And if a girl marries, she does not sin, but those who marry
will have hardships to endure, and my aim is to spare you" (1 Cor
7.27-28). Remember: from the moment you marry, he says, you will have
much pain, you will suffer, and your life will be a cross, but a cross
blossoming with flowers. Your marriage will have its joys, its smiles,
and its beautiful things. But during the days of sunshine, remember that
all the lovely flowers conceal a cross, which can emerge into your
sunshine at any moment.
Life is not a party, as some people think, and after they get married
take a fall from heaven to earth. Marriage is a vast ocean, and you
don't know where it will wash you up. You take the person whom you've
chosen with fear and trembling, and with great care, and after a year,
two years, five years, you discover that he's fooled you.
It is an adulteration of marriage for us to think that it is a road to
happiness, as if it were a denial of the cross. The joy of marriage is
for husband and wife to put their shoulders to the wheel and together go
forward on the uphill road of life. "You haven't suffered? Then you
haven't loved", says a certain poet. Only those who suffer can really
love. And that's why sadness is a necessary feature of marriage.
"Marriage", in the words of an ancient philosopher, "is a world made
beautiful by hope, and strengthened by misfortune". Just as steel is
fashioned in a furnace, just so is a person proved in marriage, in the
fire of difficulties. When you see your marriage from a distance,
everything seems wonderful. But when you get closer, you'll see just how
many difficult moments it has.
God says that "it is not good for the man to be alone" (Gen 2.18), and
so he placed a companion at his side, someone to help him throughout his
life, especially in his struggles of faith, because in order to keep
your faith, you must suffer and endure much pain. God sends his grace to
all of us. He sends it, however, when he sees that we are willing to
suffer. Some people, as soon as they see obstacles, run away. They
forget God and the Church. But faith, God, and the Church, are not a
shirt that you take off as soon as you start to sweat.
Marriage, then, is a journey through sorrows and joys. When the sorrows
seem overwhelming, then you should remember that God is with you. He
will take up your cross. It was he who placed the crown of marriage on
your head. But when we ask God about something, he doesn't always supply
the solution right away. He leads us forward very slowly. Sometime[s] he
takes years. We have to experience pain, otherwise life would have no
meaning. But be of good cheer, for Christ is suffering with you, and the
Holy Spirit, "through your groanings is pleading on your behalf" (cf.
Rom 8.26).
Second, marriage is a journey of love. It is the creation of a new human
being, a new person, for, as the Gospel says, "the two will be as one
flesh" (Mt 19.5; Mk 10.7). God unites two people, and makes them one.
From this union of two people, who agree to synchronize their footsteps
and harmonize the beating of their hearts, a new human being emerges.
Through such profound and spontaneous love, the one becomes a presence,
a living reality, in the heart of the other. "I am married" means that I
cannot live a single day, even a few moments, without the companion of
my life. My husband, my wife, is a part of my being, of my flesh, of my
soul. He or she complements me. He or she is the thought of my mind. He
or she is the reason for which my heart beats.
The couple exchanges rings to show that, in life's changes, they will
remain united. Each wears a ring with the name of the other written on
it, which is placed on the finger from which a vein runs directly to the
heart. That is, the name of the other is written on his own heart. The
one, we could say, gives the blood of his heart to the other. He or she
encloses the other within the core of his being.
"What do you do?" a novelist was once asked. He was taken aback. "What
do I do? What a strange question! I love Olga, my wife". The husband
lives to love his wife, and the wife lives to love her husband.
The most fundamental thing in marriage is love, and love is about
uniting two into one. God abhors separation and divorce. He wants
unbroken unity (cf. Mt 19.3-9; Mk 10.2-12). The priest takes the rings
off the left finger, puts them on the right, and then again on the left,
and finally he puts them back on the right hand. He begins and ends with
the right hand, because this is the hand with which we chiefly act. It
also means that the other now has my hand. I don't do anything that my
spouse doesn't want. I am bound up with the other. I live for the other,
and for that reason I tolerate his faults. A person who can't put up
with another can't marry.
What does my partner want? What interests him? What gives him pleasure?
That should also interest and please me as well. I also look for
opportunities to give him little delights. How will I please my husband
today? How will I please my wife today? This is the question which a
married person must ask every day. She is concerned about his worries,
his interests, his job, his friends, so that they can have everything in
common. He gladly gives way to her. Because he loves her, he goes to bed
last and gets up first in the morning. He regards her parents as his
own, and loves them and is devoted to them, because he knows that
marriage is difficult for parents. It always makes them cry, because it
separates them from their child.
The wife expresses love for her husband through obedience. She is
obedient to him exactly as the Church is to Christ (Eph 5.22-24). It is
her happiness to do the will of her husband. Attitude, obstinacy, and
complaining are the axes which chop down the tree of conjugal happiness.
The woman is the heart. The man is the head. The woman is the heart that
loves. In her husband's moments of difficulty, she stands at his side,
as the empress Theodora stood by the emperor Justinian. In his moments
of joy, she tries to raise him up to even higher heights and ideals. In
times of sorrow, she stands by him like a sublime and peaceful world
offering him tranquility.
The husband should remember that his wife has been entrusted to him by
God. His wife is a soul which God has given to him, and one day he must
return it. He loves his wife as Christ loves the Church (Eph 5.25). He
protects her, takes care of her, gives her security, particularly when
she is distressed, or when she is ill. We know how sensitive a woman's
soul can be, which is why the Apostle Peter urges husbands to honor
their wives (cf. 1 Pet 3.7). A woman's soul gets wounded, is often
petty, changeable, and can suddenly fall into despair. Thus the husband
should be full of love and tenderness, and make himself her greatest
treasure. Marriage, my dear friends, is a little boat which sails
through waves and among rocks. If you lose your attention even for a
moment, it will be wrecked.
As we have seen, marriage is first of all a journey of pain; second a
journey of love; and, third, a journey to heaven, a call from God. It
is, as Holy Scripture says, a "great mystery" (Eph 5.32). We often speak
of seven "mysteries", or sacraments. In this regard, a "mystery" is the
sign of the mystical presence of some true person or event. An icon, for
instance, is a mystery. When we venerate it, we are not venerating wood
or paint, but Christ, or the Theotokos, or the saint who is mystically
depicted. The Holy Cross is a symbol of Christ, containing his mystical
presence. Marriage, too, is a mystery, a mystical presence, not unlike
these. Christ says, "wherever two or three are gathered together in my
name, there I am among them" (Mt 18.20). And whenever two people are
married in the name of Christ, they become the sign which contains and
expresses Christ himself. When you see a couple who are conscious of
this, it is as if you are seeing Christ. Together they are a theophany.
This is also why crowns are placed on their heads during the wedding
ceremony, because the bride and groom are an image of Christ and the
Church. And not just this, but everything in marriage is symbolic. The
lit candles symbolize the wise virgins. When the priest places these
candles into the hands of the newly-weds, it is as if he is saying to
them: Wait for Christ like the wise virgins (Mt 25.1-11). Or they
symbolize the tongues of fire which descended at Pentecost, and which
were in essence the presence of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2.1-4). The
wedding rings are kept on the altar, until they are taken from there by
the priest, which shows that marriage has its beginning in Christ, and
will end in Christ. The priest also joins their hands, in order to show
that it is Christ himself who unites them. It is Christ who is at the
heart of the mystery and at the center of their lives [6].
All the elements of the marriage ceremony are shadows and symbols which
indicate the presence of Christ. When you're sitting somewhere and
suddenly you see a shadow, you know that someone's coming. You don't see
him, but you know he's there. You get up early in the morning, and you
see the red horizon in the east. You know that, in a little while, the
sun will come up. And indeed, there behind the mountain, the sun starts
to appear.
When you see your marriage, your husband, your wife, your partner's
body, when you see your troubles, everything in your home, know that
they are all signs of Christ's presence. It is as if you're hearing
Christ's footsteps, as if he was coming, as if you are now about to hear
his voice. All these things are the shadows of Christ, revealing that he
is together with us. It is true, though, that, because of our cares and
worries, we feel that he is absent. But we can see him in the shadows,
and we are sure that he is with us. This is why there was no separate
marriage service in the early Church. The man and woman simply went to
church and received Communion together. What does this mean? That
henceforth their life is one life in Christ.
The wreaths, or wedding crowns, are also symbols of Christ's presence.
More specifically, they are symbols of martyrdom. Husband and wife wear
crowns to show that they are ready to become martyrs for Christ. To say
that "I am married" means that I live and die for Christ. "I am married"
means that I desire and thirst for Christ. Crowns are also signs of
royalty, and thus husband and wife are king and queen, and their home is
a kingdom, a kingdom of the Church, an extension of the Church.
When did marriage begin? When man sinned. Before that, there was no
marriage, not in the present-day sense. It was only after the Fall,
after Adam and Eve had been expelled from paradise, that Adam "knew" Eve
(Gen 4.1) and thus marriage began. Why then? So that they might remember
their fall and expulsion from paradise, and seek to return there.
Marriage is thus a return to the spiritual paradise, the Church of
Christ. "I am married" means, then, that I am a king, a true and
faithful member of the Church.
The wreaths also symbolize the final victory which will be attained in
the kingdom of heaven. When the priest takes the wreaths, he says to
Christ: "take their crowns to your kingdom", take them to your kingdom,
and keep them there, until the final victory. And so marriage is a road:
its starts out from the earth and ends in heaven. It is a joining
together, a bond with Christ, who assures us that he will lead us to
heaven, to be with him always. Marriage is a bridge leading us from
earth to heaven. It is as if the sacrament is saying: Above and beyond
love, above and beyond your husband, your wife, above the everyday
events, remember that you are destined for heaven, that you have set out
on a road which will take you there without fail. The bride and the
bridegroom give their hands to one another, and the priest takes hold of
them both, and leads them round the table dancing and singing. Marriage
is a movement, a progression, a journey which will end in heaven, in
eternity.
In marriage, it seems that two people come together. However it's not
two but three. The man marries the woman, and the woman marries the man,
but the two together also marry Christ. So three take part in the
mystery, and three remain together in life.
In the dance around the table, the couple are led by the priest, who is
a type of Christ. This means that Christ has seized us, rescued us,
redeemed us, and made us his. And this is the "great mystery" of
marriage (cf. Gal 3.13).
In Latin, the word "mystery" was rendered by the word sacramentum, which
means an oath. And marriage is an oath, a pact, a joining together, a
bond, as we have said. It is a permanent bond with Christ.
"I am married", then, means that I enslave my heart to Christ. If you
wish, you can get married. If you wish, don't get married. But if you
marry, this is the meaning that marriage has in the Orthodox Church,
which brought you into being. "I am married" means I am the slave of
Christ.
Endnotes
1. I.e., "Spiritual Life", which appears below, on pp. 147-163.
2. See, for example, John Chrysostom, Homily on Colossians 12.6 "What
shame is there in that which is honorable? Why do you blush over what is
undefiled? In so doing, you slander the root of our birth, which is a
gift from God" (PG 62.388).
2. Ignatius of Antioch, Letter to Polycarp (PG 5.724B).
3. Symeon of Thessaloniki, Dialogos 277 (PG 155.508B).
4. C. Kallinikos, The Christian Temple and its Ceremonies (Athens,
1968), 514.
5. St. Gregory the Theologian, Letter 193: "I place the hand of the one
the other, and place both in the hand of God" (PG 37.316C).
(Click
here for Part 1)
Happy New
Year! Καλή Χρονιά!
Dear Parishioners,
As we enter this New Year, and second decade of the new Millennium, it
behooves us to look forward to a most blessed year within our beloved
community here in Myrtle Beach. We hear all too often about so called
“New Year’s resolutions” which many people set to either lose weight,
quit smoking, heal broken relationships, etc. Though these are quite
noble tasks, we must first and foremost begin with concentrating on the
proper development of our souls and our seeking union with God in this
life.
How do we “resolve” to do such a lofty thing as better our spiritual
states? We must understand that every aspect of our spiritual lives
begins here and now, between us, God, and our neighbor. If we could make
a list of things which could be part of our “New Year’s Spiritual
Resolution” they might include (but not be limited to) the following:
1) Let us make an attempt to attend and participate in the Divine
Liturgy and other sacred Liturgical Services of the Church. We should
make the best possible attempt to never be absent from the Divine
Liturgy on a Sunday, unless this is absolutely necessary.
2) Make a goal for ourselves to constantly be reading spiritual books as
a daily part of our lives. In addition to the Holy Scriptures, this
could include the lives of the Saints and the writings of the Holy
Fathers of the Church.
3) Let us try our best to always offer prayer to God in the mornings and
the evenings without fail.
4) Let us make it a goal to be more active participants in the life of
our parish this year. This could include attending more services,
attending catechism classes, volunteering for one of the many ministries
of the parish, helping the needs of our parish with a serious offering
of stewardship (not just monetarily).
5) If we are of those who are detached from the life of the Church and
her activities, we could contact the priest and schedule a visit in
order to better acquaint ourselves with him, dialogue with him, etc.
These are only a few of many things that we can do to begin to strive to
live an Orthodox Christian way of life; rather than just claiming to be
Orthodox Christians. Let us make a “resolution” to struggle just a bit
more this year in our journey towards Paradise.
I ask for your prayers as I too make an attempt to better my struggle as
well.
Wishing you a most blessed New Year.
In Christ,
Fr. Konstantine
Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness
Against Thy Neighbour
by Father James Thornton |
We are at the ninth in our series of discussions on the Commandments of
God. Today’s subject, the Ninth Commandment, is especially useful for us
because we live in a world that is utterly immersed in lies, perhaps
more so than at any other time in history. Yet, God commands us to be
truthful at all times. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy
neighbour.”[1] In their narrow sense, these words refer to speaking a
falsehood about another person. To accuse another falsely, to perjure
oneself, to slander, or to gossip—these are most specifically violations
of the Ninth Commandment. Yet, as with the other Commandments, it is
clear that much more is suggested by these words than is evident from a
more narrow understanding of them. Let us examine some of the
ramifications of the Ninth Commandment.
The Ninth Commandment of God deals with falsehood, forbidding the
speaking of falsehood, of lies. Since Adam’s fall from God’s Grace,
mankind is inclined towards the doing of evil. Let us recall that the
Fall of Man resulted, in the first place, from the lie of the Evil One,
viz., that disobedience to God would bring about beneficial things,
which it did not. The inclination to evil manifests itself in myriad
ways, but certainly one of these is man’s proclivity to lie, to serve or
to enhance his own interests through the use of falsehood. As was
already noted, we live in a veritable Age of Lies. Men today lie about
things both great and small. Rare indeed is the politician who does not
lie, and lie often. Rare indeed is the advertiser who does not lie about
the products he promotes, exaggerating their benefits and ignoring their
limitations and deficiencies, while, at the same time, doing the
opposite with regard to the products of rivals. Turn on the television
or read through daily newspapers, and one is inundated with lies,
gossip, and rumors.
There was a time, not too long ago, when fear of God excluded, in most
cases, the possibility of lying under oath. No longer is that true,
perjury having nearly become the rule rather than the exception.
Judges—in the past mostly God-fearing, upstanding, Christian men—today
more commonly sneer at Christ and the things of God, making their
rulings in accord with their career objectives or some ideological or
anti-religious bias. Love for the law and love for truth, so cherished
by our forebears, are rapidly disappearing. In contrast to the
Zeitgeist, to what is nowadays called “political correctness,” men who
fearlessly speak the truth are denounced and ridiculed, and usually
driven quickly from public life. Most men and women today eschew
unvarnished truth, finding it discomforting, inconvenient, or
embarrassing. For the naïve, contemporary public life is thus akin to
entering a house of mirrors, where nothing appears as, in fact, it
really is.
God is Truth and, therefore, hates the lie above all else. Listen to
Christ’s words when speaking to the Pharisees: “Ye are of your father
the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer
from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no
truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is
a liar, and the father of it. And because I tell you the truth, ye
believe me not.”[2] The devil, Christ says, is “the father of Lies,”
without a particle of truth in himself. And so it is that Christ God,
the speaker of truth alone, was, and is, hated by the enemies of truth.
As Christians, as witnesses of truth, as truth-bearers, we are expected
and required to uphold truth, at all times and in all places, without
exception. St. Paul writes: “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every
man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.”[3] To
bear false witness against another man, to accuse him falsely or testify
against him falsely, is a most grievous offense against God, one which,
unless sincerely repented of, must spell everlasting catastrophe for the
liar.
To bear false witness by attempting to damage the reputation and good
name of another through slander and gossip is equally evil and, in the
spiritual realm, infinitely more injurious to the liar than to the
victim, for it will place the liar in company with the father of lies
for all eternity. As St. John Chrysostomos reminds us, “Wherefore not
those that are slandered, but the slanderers, have need to be anxious
and tremble.”[4] To speak lies through gossip and slander in a casual
manner, murdering another’s reputation thoughtlessly, without concern
for the injury done, is also an extremely serious evil, one which soon
becomes a terrible and soul-destroying habit, broadcasting, as it does,
destruction, hatred, and strife in every direction. Even worse, once
spoken, the gossip and slander take on, so to speak, a life of their
own, becoming uncontrollable and unstoppable, like a runaway nuclear
chain reaction, annihilating truth as an atomic explosion annihilates
life. For all of this, for all of this, for the engulfing disaster that
gossip and slander inevitably become, the foul tongue of the initial
speaker is wholly responsible, and will be so judged by God. St. John
Chrysostomos writes that, “mouths made bloody with human flesh are not
so shocking as tongues like these.”[5]
And let it not be thought that gossip is permissible if we imagine the
accusations to be true. Unless there are sound reasons for speaking to
someone of some unpleasantness about another person—for example, to
protect oneself or others against serious danger or some criminal
activity—, we should mind our own business and say nothing harmful
against any man. It is not our place to judge others. Christ admonished
us, "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged."[6] He further warns us,
“But I say unto you, that every idle word that men speak, they shall
give account thereof in the Day of Judgment. For by thy words thou shalt
be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”[7] We do not
judge others since, as Saint Dorotheos of Gaza states, "You may well
know about the sin, but you do not know about the repentance."[8]
Lastly, listening to gossip and slander is also reprehensible,
sanctioning the evil by our attentiveness to it. To those who gossip,
the Christian response should be, at the minimum, “Gossiping is a sin
and I do not wish to hear it.”
Two things must the Christian man or woman bear in mind at all times
with regard to the Ninth Commandment. The first of these is always to
speak truthfully, never to lie. We read in Holy Scripture, “Lying lips
are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are His
delight.”[9] Let us always deal truly with everyone, with all of our
brothers and sisters. If some petty situation requires that we avoid
giving offense in speaking the truth, let us rather say nothing. The
second thing to bear in mind is that we must always guard our tongues.
If we were to gather together all of the sins of the world and
categorize them, perhaps the greatest number of sins would fall under
the label “sins of the tongue.” Guard your tongue, lest, as St. John
Chrysostomos writes, you make “the judgment seat dreadful to
thyself.”[10] By our words, we will be judged on Judgment Day; by our
words we will be saved, or by our words we will be condemned. Let us
always be mindful of our words.
Endnotes
[1] Exodus 20:16; Deuteronomy 5:20; St. Matthew 19:18; St. Mark 10:19;
St. Luke 18:20; Romans 13:9.
[2] St. John, 8:44-45.
[3] Ephesians, 4:25.
[4] “The Homilies of St. John Chrysostom, Archbishop of Constantinople,
on the Gospel of St. Matthew,” trans. Rev. Sir George Prevost,. rev.
Rev. M.B. Riddle, A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers
of the Christian Church. Ed. Philip Schaff. 1st Ser., Vol.X: Saint
Chrysostom: Homilies on the Gospel of Saint Matthew (Grand Rapids, MI:
William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1983), p. 270.
[5] Ibid., p. 138.
[6] St. Luke 6:37.
[7] St. Matthew 12:36-37.
[8] [St.] Dorotheos of Gaza, Discourses and Sayings, trans. Eric P.
Wheeler (Kalamazoo, MI: Cistercian Publications, 1977), p. 135.
[9] Proverbs 12:22.
[10] “The Homilies of St. John Chrysostom, Archbishop of Constantinople,
on the Gospel of St. Matthew,” p. 158.
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